Monday, June 14, 2010

"Tiny" #preggo rant

Let's make a deal: you abstain from commenting on my body shape, and I'll abstain from commenting on yours. Mkay?

Oh, I know... silly me! I'm pregnant! That must mean my body is now part of the public domain! (At least that's what the politicians keep telling us, isn't it?)

Well.... sorry. WRONG.

Still my body. If you want to touch it, you'd better ask permission first (and be ready to have it denied).

I'm five and a half months pregnant.

Yes, I'm sure. Yes, seriously. Why would I lie to you? What purpose could that possibly serve?

Kindly put your eyes back in your sockets.. there you go, that's it. Better?

Again, I'm really very sorry, but "You're so tiny!" is NOT a compliment. I'm effing pregnant -- I'm not supposed to be tiny, I'm supposed to be PREGNANT.

I'm very aware of my size. It's one of the reasons I asked my OB if I was big enough when I saw her two weeks ago, at my last appointment. (You know what she said? SHE SAID I WAS FINE.) I really don't need you making any comments on my weight or size, thank you. Notice how I'm not commenting on your size? See how nice that is, my NOT telling you what's wrong with your body size?

Just in case this isn't sinking in (heck, if I had to tell you the first part, I doubt you'd be clever or aware enough to get the second part without having it spelled out for you): three months from now, when I'm huge, I'm not going to need you to tell me how huge I am. I will be aware, trust me.

Also: if you meet a woman who tells you she's, say, six or seven months pregnant, and you think she looks HUGE... you don't need to tell her that. You don't need to ask her if she's sure she's only six or seven months. I can guarantee you she knows how far along she is. And that she's aware of how big she is.

All you need to do is shut your huge mouth and smile. If you must speak, congratulate her.

It would be really nice if people stopped feeling the need to tell women what their bodies are supposed to look like. Pregnant or not.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

how did calling hubby Freddy come about(sorry, I'm sooooo out of the loop!)? Also, congrats on the fetus! Do you plan to find out the gender or keep it a surprise?

Freddy and I met while doing Picasso at the Lapin Agile (a play by Steve Martin). His character was called "Freddy," so that was his name as I blogged about my suitor. It's stuck. :D (He likes having a code name. It's almost like a superhero alter ego.)

The fetus is doing quite well; doctors say he's growing just like he should. And he's doing his fair share of pummeling me, mostly around my underwear/pants waistline... which makes me wonder if he's getting squished? I've noticed while my belly is not growing at the rate I'd like it to, the hip/butt/thigh area is picking up the slack, so my pre-preggo underwear is tighter than it used to be...

We found out the fetus is a boy (or will be born one, at least... he'll let us know later if he has other plans). I'm trying to avoid the barrage of blue, but it's hard. Not that I want to dress him in pink (not EVERY day, at least...) but what about some PURPLE clothes? Or YELLOW? Apparently, baby boys are only allowed to wear blue, light blue, dark blue, or green-and-brown. Meh.

He already has a "This is what a FEMINIST looks like" onesie, courtesy of his Aunt Marcy, so, overall, I'm happy with his wardrobe. :)

Ask, and Criss shall answer.