Dear GOP:
My period started today. Thought you'd like to know, since these things seem to be crucial to the nation's economic recovery, and, goes without saying, national security.
I'm sorry I didn't take a photo of the globs of blood and tissue that fell into the toilet bowl just now when I went to pee (and discovered I was bleeding). I was a little thrown off by it, since my cycle seems to have gone from being 30-32 days long, before my last pregnancy, to 26 days long. Woops!
Also, I was a little frazzled because someone was ringing the doorbell, and I'm the only one home at the moment -- well, my 17-month-old is also here, but he's napping, and I didn't want the insistently-ringing doorbell to wake him! I'm also at my mom's house, and the only menstrual supplies I could find were thong pantiliners. Which, had you seen what the toilet bowl looked like after a half a minute of my sitting on it, were NOT going to cut it...
Anyway, just wanted to keep you abreast of the activities of my uterus!
Love,
Criss.
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Dear pro abortion feminist out of touch with women 'women':
ReplyDeleteI just got my hours at work cut today. I don't qualify for an entitlement program, even though a significant amount of my paycheck goes to the federal and state government to subsidize the entitlement programs that many people utilize. I have to pay $100.00 for my allergy medicine and the peeps on medicaid pay zero. I watch these able - bodied men and women talking on their iphones while they're sliding their 'Link' cards to pay for hundreds of dollars worth of nutrient poor food, then shell out about $60 in cash for a carton of cigarettes....well, you get the picture.
My hours were cut because the small business owner I work for is getting taxed at a millionaire's rate and he can't afford for me to work as much as I do.
Your uterus is very well taken care of by our government, so you need to quit bitching. I and hundreds of thousands of women don't care about your uterus. I would like our president to quit destroying the economy, and quit trying to make up mythical campaign issues in order to pander to a very radical, and (by comparison) miniscule interest group, that in no way represents the mainstream ideology of women or what they consider important to this country. You all could use some depth. We're actually very tired of hearing about your collective uteri. To co-opt an oft used political phrase - it's the economy, stupid. Taxing and spending is not the way to fix it.
Hope you found some pads. Maybe some OCP's would help regulate your period. I know where you can get them for free.
Love,
Straight Republican (as in voting ;) )
Straight Republican, have you taken any time to pay attention to WHO keeps talking about "our collective uteri"? Instead of, say, passing jobs bills?
ReplyDeleteI'm also ridiculously tired of hearing about our collective uteri. Which is why I'd love it if the GOP would stop bringing up the topic.
Your kidding, right? The whole democrat platform as it related to women was focused on their reproductive organs. As for me, I would prefer to be addressed above my tits.
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