Formspring.me: Transgender issues edition

Where do you stand on transgender issues?

Where do I stand? Transgender people are people. Their body, their choice. Why is this even an issue? Shouldn't it just be a given??

Why do people think they have a right to question, prod, investigate, interrogate, judge, or comment on the self of another?

My stand on transgender issues is the same stand I have on every other issue: this group [be the group trans folk, intersex folk, LGBQ folk, women, people of color, people with disabilities... or whoever else I'm forgetting] deserves the same rights and privileges as your average cis, white, able-bodied, heterosexual, upper-middle-class man.

How has your support of transgender issues evolved? by lilithvf1998

I don't think I can use the word "evolved" yet, since I've just recently become aware of transgender issues.

I was sittin' pretty in my limited cis world, completely ignorant that the word "cis" existed. I had heard of drag queens and transvestites, and I was vaguely aware that there were people who said they were "a man trapped in a woman's body" or "a woman trapped in a man's body." But that was over there, far away, so I didn't really need to think about that, did I?

Now that I'm thinking about it, the closest I probably came to thinking about transgender people was when I read Isabel Allende's EVA LUNA, where one of the characters was a trans woman who worked as a prostitute -- I can't remember any of the details (now I feel I need to re-read the book *goes to get it from the bookshelf, realizes it's EVA LUNA, not PAULA as she had originally typed), but the main character is a young girl who somehow is taken in by these misfits (as in, a human Island of Misfit Toys), and one of the people in the house is the trans woman. I can't remember if Allende refers to her as a he or a she, but I remember the character wearing women's clothes and plucking her facial hair so she wouldn't have stubble.

But other than that and the episode on Friends with Chandler's dad being played by Kathleen Turner (which I think is further evidence of how misinterpreted and misrepresented trans people are in the mainstream media -- they still refer to his dad as a gay man and drag queen, not a trans woman, even though Chandler's dad lives their life as a woman -- or am I missing something?) I didn't really, for lack of a better word, notice trans people nor was I aware of their issues.

I think I first followed @nueva_voz because of a Twitter chat on women of color; through her I became aware of trans women's issues and -- as shameful as it is to say, but I'll say it because it's true -- trans women became "real people" to me (as opposed to fictional characters who only appeared in the controlled environments of books and movies).

I still want to call myself a "feminist" because I want to keep believing what I originally understood feminism to be: a movement to end oppression, especially the oppression of women... ALL KINDS of women. I know the movement started with cis white (rich) able-bodied women fighting against sexism, but it has grown to include the fight(s) against racism, heterosexism, and classism (in most cases...?) and I still want to believe it is still growing to include the fight(s) against ableism and cissexism and all other -sims I'm still not aware of (or that I'm forgetting as I type this... I'll blame it on the cold).

But I know the reality is that too many "feminists" are either still ignorant of trans issues (as I was) or choose to not take the opportunities given to them to learn and educate themselves on those issues. Then there are some who are openly and actively transphobic and transmisogynistic, which I cannot even comprehend. Which makes me hesitant to attach myself to a movement that would willingly exclude and attack an entire population of women who need it the most.

All that to say... my support of transgender issues is still in the "Behold! An amoeba!" stage, but I hope I am slowly making progress toward evolving into a multi-celled organism.

On Rape and Victim-Blaming

(This was a phone post. Which is why it all came out as one long and painful paragraph... ARGH. And no, I do not regularly drive my father's cat. Edited to fix...)

Every time a woman comes forth with her story of rape, the victim-blamers feel the need to chip in their two cents. So that's got me thinking...

... We all know that it doesn't "count" if you rape a sex worker, right? I mean, they have sex for money! So when you FORCIBLY take sex for free and AGAINST THEIR WILL, well, that's totally okay, right? So...

... it's okay for me to steal from a grocery store, right? Because they GIVE THE FOOD AWAY for money, so it's not like they mind if people just TAKE the food -- at least, they shouldn't mind. I mean, that'd just be hypocritical, if all of a sudden they got all pissy and told you you can't just TAKE IT just because you feel like it! What if I'm really hungry, huh??

And what about whores and sluts? The women who dress all skanky and then get mad when you sexually assault them and rape them? Aren't they just asking for it because of the way they dress? So...

... the other day I was at the mall. Have you ever been there? Dude, those stores are such sluts!! They have all their clothes ON DISPLAY right there in front of you, showing it all off. It's like they're ASKING ME to steal the stuff. I mean, if they didn't WANT me to steal it, wouldn't they put their merchandise behind a counter or something?

And what about the stuff they have "on sale"? How is it wrong if I steal that? They're practically GIVING IT AWAY? So what if I take it by force? Only because I really really want that shirt? That's not really "stealing" if it's on sale and they leave it lying around so I can just put it in my purse and walk away, is it?

There's this guy in my neighborhood who drives a motorcycle. He's always driving around in it, showing it off, making lots of noise. So if I want to ride it, it's okay for me to take it, right? He's ASKING FOR IT, showing off his cool motorcycle to everyone. Isn't he begging me to steal it and take it out for a joyride?

And what about date rape? You know, when one person says the other one took advantage of them and raped them? Like, most of the time they're friends, or they're on a date, or at a party, or they're hanging out together and stuff? Shouldn't the person know what they were getting into? Just like...

... the other day a coworker invited me to her house to play Guitar Hero. She showed me how to use the controllers, and how to play the game, and all that. She knew what she was doing when she invited me over, okay? And why did she show me how to play the game if she didn't want me to play it? So it's totally okay if I punch her in the face and take the gaming system with me, right? I mean, she invited me to her house! She asked me to play! She can't just CHANGE HER MIND and not let me keep the game, now can she? How is that fair??

And then there's, like, couples who have had sex before, or they're in a relationship. Just because you said "yes" ONCE, that means you said "yes" FOREVER, right? I mean...

... my friend let me drive his car the other day when mine was in the shop. He was totally cool with me driving his car, he said he wanted to help me out, and when I said "thank you" he said "anytime." Um, HELLO. That means that ANYTIME I want to borrow a car I can just take his, right? Didn't he give me permission to steal his car because he let me drive it once?

My dad lets me drive his car ALL THE TIME. He prefers that I drive his car when he comes to visit me. So what's the problem with me going into his house, taking the car keys, and driving his [cat] car whenever I feel like it? He let's me do it, because he let's me do it when he gives me permission!

Wow. Look at that, victim-blamers. Your logic totally makes sense, when you put it that way. Thanks for enlightening me.

Thank you, Dr. Tiller.

Thank you, Dr. Tiller, for giving your life to serve women and provide a service few others were brave enough to  provide. Thank you for trusting us, and helping us.

Thank you, Dr. Tiller's family, for the sacrifice you made allowing him to go to work every day, despite the threats. Despite the bombings. Despite the shootings. Thank you for the love you showed him and the women he treated.

Thank you to his nurses and staff, who also braved the protesters and suffered the death threats. Thank you to their families, who send them to work every day knowing what they face.

Thank you to all the doctors, nurses, and staff, and escorts, who work at clinics that provide abortion services  (and those that work at clinics that don't, but still have to put up with protesters who don't even understand what they're doing). We know you're there, and we appreciate it, even if we forget to say it. We need you -- thank you for being there for us.