Saturday, January 30, 2010

On Rape and Victim-Blaming

(This was a phone post. Which is why it all came out as one long and painful paragraph... ARGH. And no, I do not regularly drive my father's cat. Edited to fix...)

Every time a woman comes forth with her story of rape, the victim-blamers feel the need to chip in their two cents. So that's got me thinking...

... We all know that it doesn't "count" if you rape a sex worker, right? I mean, they have sex for money! So when you FORCIBLY take sex for free and AGAINST THEIR WILL, well, that's totally okay, right? So...

... it's okay for me to steal from a grocery store, right? Because they GIVE THE FOOD AWAY for money, so it's not like they mind if people just TAKE the food -- at least, they shouldn't mind. I mean, that'd just be hypocritical, if all of a sudden they got all pissy and told you you can't just TAKE IT just because you feel like it! What if I'm really hungry, huh??

And what about whores and sluts? The women who dress all skanky and then get mad when you sexually assault them and rape them? Aren't they just asking for it because of the way they dress? So...

... the other day I was at the mall. Have you ever been there? Dude, those stores are such sluts!! They have all their clothes ON DISPLAY right there in front of you, showing it all off. It's like they're ASKING ME to steal the stuff. I mean, if they didn't WANT me to steal it, wouldn't they put their merchandise behind a counter or something?

And what about the stuff they have "on sale"? How is it wrong if I steal that? They're practically GIVING IT AWAY? So what if I take it by force? Only because I really really want that shirt? That's not really "stealing" if it's on sale and they leave it lying around so I can just put it in my purse and walk away, is it?

There's this guy in my neighborhood who drives a motorcycle. He's always driving around in it, showing it off, making lots of noise. So if I want to ride it, it's okay for me to take it, right? He's ASKING FOR IT, showing off his cool motorcycle to everyone. Isn't he begging me to steal it and take it out for a joyride?

And what about date rape? You know, when one person says the other one took advantage of them and raped them? Like, most of the time they're friends, or they're on a date, or at a party, or they're hanging out together and stuff? Shouldn't the person know what they were getting into? Just like...

... the other day a coworker invited me to her house to play Guitar Hero. She showed me how to use the controllers, and how to play the game, and all that. She knew what she was doing when she invited me over, okay? And why did she show me how to play the game if she didn't want me to play it? So it's totally okay if I punch her in the face and take the gaming system with me, right? I mean, she invited me to her house! She asked me to play! She can't just CHANGE HER MIND and not let me keep the game, now can she? How is that fair??

And then there's, like, couples who have had sex before, or they're in a relationship. Just because you said "yes" ONCE, that means you said "yes" FOREVER, right? I mean...

... my friend let me drive his car the other day when mine was in the shop. He was totally cool with me driving his car, he said he wanted to help me out, and when I said "thank you" he said "anytime." Um, HELLO. That means that ANYTIME I want to borrow a car I can just take his, right? Didn't he give me permission to steal his car because he let me drive it once?

My dad lets me drive his car ALL THE TIME. He prefers that I drive his car when he comes to visit me. So what's the problem with me going into his house, taking the car keys, and driving his [cat] car whenever I feel like it? He let's me do it, because he let's me do it when he gives me permission!

Wow. Look at that, victim-blamers. Your logic totally makes sense, when you put it that way. Thanks for enlightening me.


  1. I'm going to have to draw the line at driving your father's cat. That's just wrong.

  2. Cat-driving is cruel and unusual. But "rape"? That's just another word for doing what you want to do, and that's the most patriotic thing an American can do. You can't tell me not to! I have my rights, whereas you only have whines, see?

    (Pardon me while I find a sturdy wall to beat my head into.)

  3. THANK YOU. I've never thought of it quite that way before (not that I've ever thought rape was ok. That's always been crystal clear to me) but these analogies are perfect. Thanks for sharing and building up the rest of our logic arsenals for whenever they may be needed. ; )

  4. (Learn your lesson, kids... do not post from your phone. Because then you end up driving your dad's cat around... and that's not okay.)