Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Motherhood Changes You

Motherhood (and parenting) changes you.

One big difference I've noticed is, since the pregnancy, I crave chocolate. I know that this is nothing new, stereotypically; I've always had a sweet tooth (several, actually, and they match my collection of root canals), but I've always been much more into sweet, fruity candy (cherry Pull-n-Peel Twizzlers and gummy bears and Skittles and such) than into chocolate... but since the pregnancy, I've been in dire need of dark chocolate. And not so much the fruity candy.

The pregnancy somehow changed my genetic makeup.

But on a more serious note...

I've flow on planes loads of times. I like flying. I like turbulence -- it's like a little roller coaster during the flight. I love the way your stomach dips when the wheels of the plane lose contact with the ground, and the bump when they touch down again. I am not squeamish about flying AT ALL.

MonkeyBoy took his first ever plane ride last week.

On our last flight, the flight attendant came over and let us know the plane was equipped with an infant life vest, which was underneath the seat across the aisle on the row in front of us. The card with all the safety info had illustrations of an infant in said life vest, floating on the water -- ALONE -- in his glow-in-the-dark life vest.

I made Freddy put the card away, because looking at it made me feel nauseous. I hugged my chubby baby and tried really hard to ignore the flight attendant cheerily pantomiming the safety information.

A while back I went to see a play where the main character is a gay teen. On one scene, he calls him mom and tries to come out to her, but she won't let him say the words. Then she has a song about her baby boy growing up... can't remember what the song said exactly, but she was, obviously, sad (I haven't decided yet if she was upset that her son was gay because she thought it was a sin -- the poor guy was at a Catholic boarding school -- or because she knew how hard his life would be, the hate and discrimination he would face, because he was gay). I fine with all this until the stage behind the mom started showing a slideshow of the guy's baby and childhood photos. When I saw that first baby photo, I lost it. Gut? Wrenched. I wanted to be home, with my baby, hugging him, protecting him from all the hate and ignorance and bigotry out there.

I have a superhuman ability to survive and function on a ridiculously minuscule amount of sleep. And, most of the time, I manage to even be cheerful.

Motherhood changes you.

But you know what hasn't changed?

I still don't regret my abortion.


  1. This brought me back to the first time we flew with Donovan, and having that exact same revelation-- of, for the first time, feeling truly sick to my stomach thinking about Horrible Things That Might Happen.

    Great post. =)

  2. Not yet. Maybe later. Ultimately. But not yet.

  3. *yaaawwwn* I am sooo tired of the anonymous assholes on your blog, Cristina. Don't they have better things to do?

  4. So maybe you should find better things to do yourself Lacey Jane. After all this blog makes you soooo tired. How long ago was your abortion?

  5. Ooooh, JustUs... way to show your ASS.

    (I try to abstain from foul language. If I have to use a bad word, I try to type it with other characters. But this is such an epic ASS showing, JustUs, not only does it require the actual word, un-sugarcoated, but it must be capitalized.)

    First of all, sorry for the late response. I've been hanging out with my baby and stuff.

    JustUs, you ASS, Lacey has never had an abortion, and unless it is medically necessary, meaning her life or the pregnancy, she probably never will (and if it were medically necessary, I don't know what she'd choose). She did have a miscarriage, a few years ago, on an unplanned BUT VERY WANTED pregnancy. So WAY TO GO, JustUs. NICE JUDGING. Not only are you now picking on someone WHO IS ON *YOUR* SIDE, but you are harassing a woman who has lost a child, through miscarriage, and asking her about her abortion. CLASSY.

    Lacey is currently pregnant again, and I cannot wait to meet her baby, and have our babies play together. She is already a much better mother than you will ever be. One reason why? She doesn't spend time online harassing people she doesn't know so she can feel superior to them.

    Now take your ASS elsewhere, JustUs.

    (OK, I shouldn't, but I have to. The setup, it's too perfect. I can't just leave it there.)


  6. Criss Ox

    Why make a big deal about Lacey not having an abortion. After all, nothing is wrong with abortion, right?

  7. There's nothing "wrong" with abortion. There is something "wrong" with calling people names for having an abortion.

    It's even more "wrong" when that person has never had an abortion.

    And it gets especially ugly when that person has had a miscarriage.

    If I have to explain that to you, then you are farther gone than I had imagined.

    PS: I'm not an ox, yet you continue to be an ass.

  8. I am sooo tired of the anonymous assholes on your blog, Cristina.

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