A Kid's Reaction to a Gay Couple

As you can see, this poor child is permanently damaged. For life. He walks out of the room and falls straight into Hell.

"I'm going to play ping-pong now. You play if you want to."

See how horrified he is of seeing two men who love each other???

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Apple Dumplings by Virginia Howes

Because my funbags are food bags for my funny bug: (thanks to Arwyn at Raising my Boychick for the link)

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Switching to condoms...

You can see the rest of these here, but the best one by far is this one:

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Star Wars and Women

Why 'Star Wars' Is Secretly Terrifying for Women -- powered by Cracked.com

Abstinence-Only Driver's Ed

After the rousing success of abstinence-only sex ed programs, the only logical next step is implementing this highly successful method in other areas, such as driver's education programs. No?

It would probably look something like this:

Or, also, like this.

Because it's Monday: Google Voice

Image via WikipediaI set up Google Voice to transcribe my voicemail. I thought it was only going to transcribe messages left on my Google Voice number, but after my brother left a message on my regular phone, Google Voice sent me the transcription. Which was:

"Owner, or Christina okay. Yeah, Hi Bob on Thursday so if you are but also with the relation of course,so you know that I'm here or you assembly them either Wednesday saying that night because there ifyou're on, thinking about the silver blue through mailing address. Now. So, demand now, she. "


At first I was slightly confused. Then I realized... my brother left me a message in Spanish.


Poor Google Voice! It tried so hard...

Out of the mouths of babes (or, Sex and the City... and Horses)

Cover of Girls Just Want to Have FunFreddy is not a fan of Sarah Jessica Parker.

I must say, myself, I have a dear, dear spot in my heart for Sarah Jessica Parker, Helen Hunt, and Shannen Doherty, for having starred in Girls Just Want to Have Fun (a.k.a THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME).

I also owe a debt of gratitude to Sex and the City (the series; have not seen the movies yet): after going on a whopping two(?) dates in high school and spending all my college years (all six of them) with the same (controlling, abusive) boyfriend, SATC was my instructional video on dating and relationships. (Also loved He's Just Not That Into You [book, haven't seen the movie], because, sometimes... he isn't. And you need to move on, because you're worth more than that.)

Freddy's experience with SATC is a litle different... a (supposedly monogamous) girlfriend of his flippantly informed him that the show "inspired" her to be "liberated" and sleep with another guy when she and Freddy were dating (in a supposedly monogamous relationship), because that's what "modern women" do (or something). (Now, I watched all six seasons of the show back to back, thanks to Netflix, and I saw nothing in there about cheating on your super-awesome boyfriend... but I digress.)

Author's note: I, myself, prefer monogamous relationships. Clearly, so does Freddy -- which is good, we match. I have no problem with people in open relationships or polyamorous relationships, because that's what works for them. But you gotta pick one! And make sure your partner(s) and you agree on which one y'all are in!)

Because Freddy has this resentment, which he has projected onto the main star of SATC, he jokingly likes to point out that... her face has some horse-like features.

Yesterday, while hanging out with Freddy's sister and her kids, SJP's episode of Who Do You Think You Are? came up in conversation... and Freddy, gentleman that he is, asked if any equine members were discovered in SJP's ancestry. At his sister's confused expression, I explained that, in Freddy's opinion, "Carrie Bradshaw" looks... like a horse.

Freddy's horse-loving 10-year-old niece, taking things a little too literally, asked, "Do people ride her like a horse?"

Well... that role did call for her to be in the "cowgirl position" quite often...

Simon's Cat in "The Box"

Since I can't muster the energy (or find the time) for a real post, I'll share this with you instead:

On Vegetarianism

To quote my brother-in-law:

Duty Calls (stolen from xkcd)

PAJAMA JEANS. Need I say more?

This? The greatest thing EVAH. For serious. I want some.

Found here.

Tim Tebow's Other Super Bowl Ad

I'm Criss, and I approve this message:



(Also, in case you missed it, read my "interview" with Pam Tebow here.)

My Dream Job. For Serious.

(I heartz LOLcats.)

Day 11: How to warp the perfect Valentine's Day present

I know Christmas is over, but Valentine's Day is coming up! And what would your sweet someone love more than A CAT?

The only problem is they are so hard to wrap! So I'm sharing this how-to video with you.



(Video was shared with me by @maureenjohnson.)

Silent Monks Sing Halleluia

Courtesy of my mom-in-law, to get you in the Christmas spirit.

Suprised Kitteh!

Because it's Monday again, and you probably need this:

The Muppets do Bohemian Rhapsody

Because it's Monday after a holiday weekend and we all need this:



Thanks to @mightymur and @syntheticjesso for the link.

George Carlin on Abortion

I think I love this man.



EDIT: As much as I love almost everything you say here, Geroge, I do have to point one thing out. I know you're doing it for funnies and that clarifying your statement would kind of kill the joke, but lesbians can also be in need of an abortion. Sadly, they can get raped too, and probably do as a result of homophobic hate crimes.

Also, abortion is not always an elective procedure. A lesbian couple, or a homosexual couple, using a surrogate, can suffer complications during a pregnancy and need to terminate it. Let's not exclude homosexuals or deny their realities.

That said, I have to applaud your genius:

"When ... some of these other cardinals and bishops have experiences their
first pregnancies, and their first labor pains, and they've raised a couple of
children on minimum wage, then I'll be glad to hear what they have to say about
abortion."

ME TOO.

A kitteh after my own heart...

I likes tango, too.

Unwittingly I've made a 6 word Sunday post.

Web Side Story

Is it sad that this IS my life? (Except for eHarmony, because, you know, meMarried already.)

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

(Stolen from Moonrat's blog, btw.)