The Beyoncé Super Bowl Performance Photos

Dear Internetz:

Hi.

Have you never asked someone to not post an unflattering photo of you, one they took when you were in the middle of saying something or chewing? Have you never heard someone ask you to not post an unflattering photo of them?


Yes, I know... you're a cesspool of misogyny and sexism, partly because so is much of our society, but also because you make anonymity so easy and anonymity so easily leads to assholery.


But, really, y'all. Those photos? The ones the publicist, DOING HER JOB, "respectfully [asked] you to change" (not "remove from the Internet," which is A) impossible and B) a stupid thing to ask)?


Why are you sharing them?

Does it seem UNREASONABLE that her publicist would ask that these photos not be posted?

They're crappy photos. She's in the middle of a performance, in the middle of singing a song. She's a good performer, and she's singing the song with passion and expression -- you know, the way kind of have to if you want to perform it well. Oh, and she's doing this whole dance routine at the same time, too. Something else she's doing with passion and expression, because she wants it to be good. Which it is.

Pick a famous or talented artist, I bet you anything at one point in their career someone took a photo where that artist was making a face as ugly as this one, or worse. 

A good photographer, one who happens to be good at hir craft and also happens to be a decent human being, looks at those photos and deletes them, because they're crappy photos. The asshole who took this one, however, thought he could get money (or something?) out of it, so he posted it.

It's really sad to see all the lemming assholes following suit.

Don't be that asshole. Knock it off. You're better than that, Internetz. Please try, just a little bit. Try to be decent human being, I know you have it in you, somewhere, deep down in there...

It would be so nice, dear Internetz, if we could pretend you learned something from a previous, related incident. Were you paying attention? You should have been. Luckily, one of the beauties of you, Internetz, is that you preserve moments (not just the crappy ones), so we can always go back and revisit something we may have missed. Go back, watch the video, listen to what Anne Hathaway says. Let's see if we can get that to sink in.

Loves, 

Criss.

"Amurrica" was founded on...

Yesterday I was at a red light behind a truck proudly displaying a bumper sticker that read:

America was founded on 

IN GOD WE TRUST.

Um, NO. It wasn't, you ignorant cow.

You know what "America" -- the United States of, to which I assume your ignorant sticker is referring, not the continent of America (though your claim would be closer to accurate if you were referring to the continent of America, you know, with the whole "God, gold, and glory" thing... but I am giving you way too much credit, aren't I?) -- was actually founded on?

Well, there was that whole, "We don't want the King to force us to join his church and follow his religion" thing, for one. And then there was that whole "Taxation without representation" thing.

Hmm... speaking of passing laws that affect a specific group of people without letting that specific group of people have a say in the matter...

I'm sorry, what was that you were saying, about getting back to the values this country was founded on?

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Rape, Roethlisberger, and #HR3

(Edited to modify some of the wording, since I do not have proof that Roethlisberger committed the actions I mention below.)

The Dallas/Ft. Worth Metroplex has all but shut down by ice and snow, the week before Ben Roethlisberger (and the rest of the Pittsburgh Steelers) will play in the Super Bowl here in JerryLand Cowboys Stadium in Arlington.

If I were a Christian Right self-righteous preacher, I'd tell you this snow/icestorm happened because God hates rapists.

The topic of rape has been all over Twitter, and the news, this week, because of HR3, a bill that wanted to "redefine rape." Because we have such a loose, willy-nilly interpretation of the act already, we clearly need to put some restrictions on it. We don't want all these silly women jumping up and saying they were raped, now do we? Next thing you know, people might start believing them!

The other day I mentioned something about Rapistberger, and about him being an alleged rapist, to a group of (female) friends. The first response was something along the lines of, "Whenever I hear about someone accusing [someone rich and famous] of rape, I have to wonder if they're saying it just to get the guy's money."

Another person asked why the woman hadn't charged him with rape, why the guy hadn't been taken to court.

"Because of what she said!" I responded, pointing to First Responder.

This was a roomful of women, y'all. You'd think sisters would have each other's back.

"Why didn't she report it?"

"Why did she wait [so long] to report it?"

"She's probably lying, trying to get his money/ get media attention."

These are not uncommon reactions.

You wanna know why the victim didn't report it? Because she didn't want to be called a liar and a whore.

You wanna know why it took her "so long" to report it, why she didn't go to the authorities immediately? Because she didn't want to be called a liar and a whore, but she was lucky enough to have friends who supported her and helped her eventually build up the courage to confront her attacker.

Or because she was drunk or drugged, and wasn't sure what had been done to her.

Or because she knows she can't afford lawyers that can compete with the ones her attacker's money can buy.

Or, in Roethlisberger's alleged victim's case, because she knows she doesn't have a case that can be proven in court because one of the bodyguards that allegedly helped Roethlisberger commit the alleged crime was, according to some sources, an ex-cop (or off-duty cop) who made sure Roethlisberger covered his tracks well enough, so her lawyers could not build a case against him. (This is info I got from Freddy, who got it from the sports radio show he listens to. And you know how pro-woman those guys tend to be... so, if anything, this is the "light" version of the events. I shudder to think of what the non-macho-friendly version is... Or see here, where they state Rapistberger's bodyguards are there to make sure there aren't any witnesses, or here, which quotes the victim's friends saying the bodyguards kept them from going to check on -- or rescue -- their friend. But I don't really need to give you details of this particular story; pick any report of a famous/rich guy raping a girl, the media's reaction is always the same.)

Rape culture is so ingrained in our lives and our mindsets that we don't even think twice when we victim-blame; we're not even aware we're doing it. It's second nature to react by questioning the victim instead of the attacker.

Funny how we don't do that in any other cases, huh? "I was shot!" "Well, were you standing in front of the bullet? You were asking for it." "Are you sure you were shot? Maybe that's just ketchup." "What were you wearing? You know red makes people angry, you shouldn't have worn that color." Or, as Laura Anne Stuart points out,

I feel pretty confident that following Vick's case, no one accused those skanky, gold-digging dogs of "asking for it" or opined that drunk slutty canines really want to be beaten. However, those are just the sorts of things that are routinely said about women who accuse professional athletes of rape. We are far more sympathetic to animals than we are to women. 

(Before I go off on another rant, please read her article, The Roethlisberger Payback, and consider participating in the pledge.)

A few months ago, it was Assange, who obviously couldn't be a rapist because he came up with a cool idea for a website. Roethlisberger, well, that happened a while ago (over the summer?) and he must not have done anything wrong because the girl never formally brought charges in court, and, anyway, he had to sit out six -- no, wait, four -- games. Four games! Can you imagine the agony?? What the poor guy must have gone through!

When cis women report being raped, they face hostility; they're called liars and sluts; and if the guy is rich/famous, they are attacked and mocked by the rapists' fans.

We discuss whether it was "rape-rape." Was she drunk? What was she wearing? Was she asking for it? Was she flirting? Did she change her mind? Is she just looking for a big settlement? To get her name in the news?

It wasn't really rape if...

HR3, a big waste of time that accomplished nothing other than making it look like John Boehner is "doing" something to "save teh babiez," attempted to limit funding to abortion. Yes, exactly what the Hyde Amendment already does. But, you see, the Hyde Amendment includes a provision for rape, incest, and to save the life of the mother. So Boehner and his buddies wanted to make sure we're not getting out of hand with this "rape" thing, calling every little assault "rape." In order to be raped, you needed to have bruises and broken bones, according to these people. Public uproar made them remove the language that attempted to redefine rape, or further limit its definition.

Feminists got all up in arms about a cis man telling them what was and what was not rape. Because, seriously, honestly -- how dare anyone tell anyone "your rape wasn't rape-y enough?"

The irony in all this, is that... cis women do it all the time. Not to each other (well, sometimes. See the above conversation), at least not as much as they do it to trans women.

In order to be raped, our cissexist society says you must have been born with a vagina. Trans men can be raped (because, donchaknow, they're not really men -- they're really women, being eccentric, right?), because they have a vagina. Or at least were born with one. Trans women? No. That's not real rape. Not "rape-rape."

Oh, wait...

Remember what it felt like to have a cis man deny your assault experience? Now that we know what it feels like to have it done to us, let's not do that to each other anymore.

Breastfeeding is "icky." Didn't you know?

The Leaky Boob posted this link on Facebook, and I had to share, because it highlights some important truths.

The article talks about Irish women (and doctors, and onlookers), but it applies pretty darn accurately to USians, no?

Some points of note:

Bottles and the infant formula inside them had to be better than anything a woman's body could make because you had to buy them. And Irish people like buying things.

Of course, we all know that if we buy it, it must be superior. The more expensive the better. That free crap that comes out of my boobs? Must be cat piss.

Oh, wait... except for this:

Breastfed infants suffer fewer tummy and chest infections, fewer urinary tract infections, fewer ear infections, less eczema and less asthma than bottle-fed ones. They have less risk of having diabetes, Hodgkin's Disease and possibly leukaemia. In adulthood, they have less chance of getting late-onset diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity. Mothers who breastfeed have less chance of developing pre-menopausal breast cancer, ovarian cancer and osteoporosis.

Huh. THAT IS SO WEIRD. Because, as we all know,

...anything a woman can do for herself isn't worth doing.

I mean, seriously, folks! Women are inherently inferior, remember?

Ladies, remember, the only thing your body is capable of is pleasing men sexually, 'mkay? And, really, nothing kills a cis hetero guy's mojo like seeing your boobs used for their God-intended purpose. Priorities, people!

I mean, how can you reasonably expect someone to NOT stare at something they find odd, unusual, or even gross? How can you possibly expect others to have enough self-control to look away of their own volition? As if they were grown-ups who knew how to solve their own problems?

Really, ladies! These people can't help it! They can't control who or what they stare at! Be reasonable, please, and stop being so selfish. Cover up. Your baby needs to learn to sacrifice hir needs for the comfort of others. (Especially if your baby is a girl. Let's get these lessons in early!)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make a nursing cover. I want to make sure it looks nice, so I think I'll decorate it with images my husband's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. It has such pretty pictures, don't you agree?

Kitteh approves of breastfeeding.

This? A beautiful sight. PERIOD.

Related articles

• Surgeon General Urges Support for Breastfeeding (women.webmd.com)
• Surgeon General Pushes Breast Feeding (abcnews.go.com)
• Surgeon General: Breastfeeding Should Be Less Hassle (huffingtonpost.com)

A Letter to Michael Moore and Keith Olbermann, by @misakyra #mooreandme

I've been enjoying my ignorant bliss under the excuse that my baby needs me (which is not really an "excuse" when I spend a large amount of my non-work, non-sleeping time with his little head attached to my boob, which does make it hard to hang out online and/or type stuff and such), so I've avoided reading up too much on certain current events. Sadly, sh!tty things keep happening out there in The World, even when I'm not there to read (or blog) about them.

But other people are out there, keeping up with all the sh!t that's happening, and writing things like this. Which is much better written than anything I could have done.

So, please, go read Cassy's Open Letter to Michael Moore and Keith Olbermann.


(But also take a moment to chew on this for a bit: the women in the Assange case are lucky. At least there is public outrage over what's happened to them, and the way the media has treated them. Because they're cis. When a trans woman is raped, we don't hear a peep, do we? Even if, somehow, the media bothered to report on a trans woman's rape and the media did to that woman what Olbermann and Moore are doing to these cis Swedish women, would the rest of the Internet notice? Would Salon and its cis feminist bloggers show anywhere near the same outrage?)

VAGINA!!! TAMPONS!!!! VAGINA!!!!

This article, Rebelling Against the Commonly Evasive Feminine Care Ad, is worth the read, for the main focus of the article (Kotex's new approach to marketing tampons). But this tiny tidbit has got to be my favorite part:

Merrie Harris, global business director at JWT, said that after being informed that it could not use the word vagina in advertising by three broadcast networks, it shot the ad cited above with the actress instead saying “down there,” which was rejected by two of the three networks.

The ads are selling tampons -- which are things you stick inside your VAGINA -- but they are not allowed to say the word "vagina."


THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THE WORD VAGINA ON TV.


You can say "bitch" on TV, but you can't say "vagina." You can say "ASS" on TV, but you can't say "vagina." BECAUSE THAT ONE IS DIRTY AND OFFENSIVE.


I have been accused, in the past, of overreacting to things. Of reading too much into it. Of looking for something to be offended about.


Years ago, this must have been in the late 90s because I was still in college (sitting around at home in the morning hours because my classes were in the afternoon) I remember seeing an episode of the Christina Applegate TV show where she worked as a nurse. She had to learn how to draw blood from people, so she was practicing on an orange. Something happened, where a guy got a promotion or raise or cool assignment and she didn't, and she got all up in arms and went to the supervisor or person in charge and said that it was not fair that the guy was given X (instead of it being given to her) just because he had a penis.


They said the word "PENIS." On TV. In a sitcom. In the middle of the day, when children could be at home, watching sitcom reruns.


I remember this distinctly because a few nights before, we had been watching The Big Lebowski on that same channel. At midnight. Late at night. When children and their precious, delicate virgin ears were in bed.


AND IT WAS THE FREAKIN' BIG LEBOWSKI.


Remember the scene where Julianne Moore is painting in her art studio, and she tells Jeff Bridges her paintings resemble VAGINAS? (Or something like that. The point is that the dialogue included the word VAGINA.)

When her character said the word "VAGINA," the word was muted. IT WAS CENSORED.


AS IF SHE HAD SAID A CUSS WORD (of which there are plenty in The Big Lebowski, if I recall correctly. EXCEPT THAT VAGINA IS NOT ONE OF THEM.)


This upset me. 


Why is it okay to say PENIS in the middle of the day in TV but we cannot say VAGINA in the middle of the night on TV?


What is wrong with the word VAGINA??? Can you even begin to explain it to me??


You can say "arm" on TV. You can say "foot" on TV. You can say "nose" on TV. You can even say "breast" on TV.


Why are VAGINAS so scary and offensive and naughty???


It would be one thing if we banned the medical term for all reproductive and/or sexual organs. Now, this would put several marketing campaigns in quite a pickle in October -- how are they going to sell us PINK JUNK if they can't tell us it's for BREAST cancer awareness? Are we going to have to refer to October as HOOTER cancer awareness month?


But when you allow breast and penis, BUT BAN VAGINA, you are sending a clear message that those are okay, but THAT ONE is not. THAT ONE is dirty. And bad. And icky. Ew!!!


No, I'm not okay with that.


And neither is my VAGINA.