Friday, January 28, 2011

Breastfeeding is "icky." Didn't you know?

The Leaky Boob posted this link on Facebook, and I had to share, because it highlights some important truths.

The article talks about Irish women (and doctors, and onlookers), but it applies pretty darn accurately to USians, no?

Some points of note:
Bottles and the infant formula inside them had to be better than anything a woman's body could make because you had to buy them. And Irish people like buying things.
Of course, we all know that if we buy it, it must be superior. The more expensive the better. That free crap that comes out of my boobs? Must be cat piss.

Oh, wait... except for this:
Breastfed infants suffer fewer tummy and chest infections, fewer urinary tract infections, fewer ear infections, less eczema and less asthma than bottle-fed ones. They have less risk of having diabetes, Hodgkin's Disease and possibly leukaemia. In adulthood, they have less chance of getting late-onset diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity. Mothers who breastfeed have less chance of developing pre-menopausal breast cancer, ovarian cancer and osteoporosis.
Huh. THAT IS SO WEIRD. Because, as we all know,
...anything a woman can do for herself isn't worth doing.
I mean, seriously, folks! Women are inherently inferior, remember?

Ladies, remember, the only thing your body is capable of is pleasing men sexually, 'mkay? And, really, nothing kills a cis hetero guy's mojo like seeing your boobs used for their God-intended purpose. Priorities, people!

I mean, how can you reasonably expect someone to NOT stare at something they find odd, unusual, or even gross? How can you possibly expect others to have enough self-control to look away of their own volition? As if they were grown-ups who knew how to solve their own problems?

Really, ladies! These people can't help it! They can't control who or what they stare at! Be reasonable, please, and stop being so selfish. Cover up. Your baby needs to learn to sacrifice hir needs for the comfort of others. (Especially if your baby is a girl. Let's get these lessons in early!)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make a nursing cover. I want to make sure it looks nice, so I think I'll decorate it with images my husband's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. It has such pretty pictures, don't you agree?
Kitteh approves of breastfeeding.

This? A beautiful sight. PERIOD.

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  1. Oh... those images made me tear up. How I miss my nursing days. Happiness scale of infant in photo? about a THOUSAND PERCENT.


  2. OMG MILK COMES OUT OF THOSE THINGS? SO ICKY... Just kidding. I find it strange that so many have no beef about cleavage in public (I don't either), but when the boobs are used for feeding, it's another story. It's really the same thing since in neither case is a nipple flailing about.

  3. My mother breastfed all of her children, and compared to all of my cousins who weren't?
    We always got better grades, we we always super skinny as kids and could (STILL CAN!) eat anything we wanted without gaining a pound. We had very few health issues. Amazing complections, even now. Some could argue that is all genetic and has nothing to do with breast milk.
    Then why is the rest of our family overweight and have diabities? Why is the rest of the family almost too dumb to function sometimes?
    My mom and I actually talked about when she has her first child, my brother and how almost no one supported her decision. She plowed through, but had so much trouble that first day. The nurse basically just handed him over and when my mom (who'd never been around small children, let alone newborns) asked what she shoudl do, the nurse glanced at her and said, "Anything you want. Just don't drop him."
    Thankfully, a kinder nurse showed up not long atfter and helped my mom. My mom also brings up an amazing point, why is it okay for us to stick plastic tits in their mouths, but a big no-no for real ones?

  4. "My mom also brings up an amazing point, why is it okay for us to stick plastic tits in their mouths, but a big no-no for real ones?"

    Because bottles and pacifiers are elongated, in a... wouldn't you say... rather phallic shape? Not round, like breasts. And we all know it's perfectly acceptable to see phallic symbols in people's mouths.

  5. "And we all know it's perfectly acceptable to see phallic symbols in people's mouths."

    Good point.