Friday, January 22, 2010

What does TRUST WOMEN mean to you?

I don't even know how to start to answer this question. Is the answer not painfully obvious? Do we really need to spell it out for you??

Trust women. Trust us to know what we're doing. Trust us to know the consequences and effects of our actions. Trust us to know enough to make decisions for ourselves.

Trust that when we make a decision, we've thought about it. We've weighed all the options. And if this is what we decided, then there's a d@mn good reason for that.

Trust me -- I know better what's best for me than you do. Because I'm me, I live every day of my life as me. I know how I will react to the things that will happen to me -- okay, fine, I don't know the future, so I don't know exactly how I will react to something until it actually happens to me, but you know what? I know how I have reacted to everything in my life up to now... so maybe I can make a pretty darned good educated guess about how I will react to those unknowns in the future.

You, person who doesn't know me -- literally, we have never met (no, not you, people who regularly read this blog; I'm talking to the rabid antis) -- you, on the other hand, have no clue. And you know what else? You won't be there for all those unknowns; I will. So let me decide for myself what I need to have happen so that I can handle those things.

If I feel an abortion is the right choice for me, and for that potential child, then that is nobody's business other than mine and my doctor's. If you don't like it, for whatever reason, then... who cares? I don't. You know why? Because you are not involved in this.

I don't force you to do things my way -- see, I trust you to make your own decisions about yourself -- so why do you feel you have a right to force me to do things your way?

No other medical procedure has to put up with this. No, wait -- that's right. Silly me.

Did you know that if you're a cis woman, you can have all sorts of operations on your breasts, and even on your vagina, without anyone batting an eyelash? But if you happen to be a trans woman, and you want to have gender affirming surgery to make your body match your self... whoops! Sorry, now we need a note from a therapist. We need to know you've talked to someone about this "radical" move you're trying to make. Yes, you need to get permission from your doctor and your therapist to do this.

To go from a B-cup to a D-cup, just because you feel like it? Sure, go ahead! No, no note. No problem.

To treat gender dysphoria? Oh, no, we can't do that. That's... different. That's not what I would do!!! You must not know what you're doing -- we must stop you! Protect you from yourself! Do you really know what you're doing? Have you thought about it long enough? Maybe we should give you a mandatory waiting period. Here, talk to a therapist about it. Because I'm sure you have not thought this through well enough. Why? I don't trust you, because you are not like me!

Really, people.

Yes, I know we're talking about things that deal with the naughty bits. We're talking about -- shh! -- S-E-X. Oh noes!

Please note: things that make you more heterosexxxy are fine. Breast augmentation, vagina tightening, vagina dying... those are fine. Because, cis women, you are, after all, little more than a sex object. (Trans women, you can't even make babies. If you're of no use to us as an incubator, what use are you? Sheesh... Oh, wait -- we'll keep you around, for those of us with fetishes. Cool.)

I really meant to write an eloquent post for Blog for Choice day, but the whole idea that I'd need to explain what it means to trust women makes me too angry (maybe I'm still channeling the main character from my novel -- I've been working on the scene where she walks into the abortion clinic). So, instead, this post just turned into an angry rant. Yes, that's what you get from me today: angry wordvomit.

What does "trust women" mean to me? It means mind your own business. Trust me to mind mine, and to take care of what I need to, responsibly.

1 comment:

  1. Criss, thank you for sharing that choice extends beyond abortion. I'm in the middle of reading Whipping Girl (thanks for the recommendation!) and thought the very same about doctors making the decisions for men and women who want to transition (and found it especially laughable that many were surprised that people came in with their minds made up already!). Trust must come in all forms - trust women to know what to do with their pregnancies and births, trust people to know their own sexuality, and their own gender identity. Thanks for broadening the scope of this day.